It is at this stage that she first experienced conflict about her growing independence from you. Child psychologists generally advise three years spacing between children in order to avoid adding to the developmental stress of this period. She may have regressed to clinging when the second child arrived, rather than achieving greater autonomy.
Generally speaking, second born children are often said to be more easy going than firstborns. This makes some sense when we take into account that a second is fitting into a family structure that is already in place. In a stable home, second children are like kittens welcomed into a litter. They may garner their sense of security from the group, and so show less jealousy, at least initially, than their older sibling who experiences the shift in the family when a new baby arrives on the scene.
Spend one on one time with your daughter on a daily basis. And ask her father to do the same. Over the next six months you may find that she gradually becomes more independent. It may be that she just needs some extra time to adjust and be assured of her place in the family, once more. Reflect on your own relationship with your mother as it may also bear on your expectations with your daughter.
You may be disappointed if she is different from yourself, for example, if your own mother and you felt a bond of alikeness to one another. Or, an emotional distance from your own mother may replicate itself in the next generation. Work toward achieving a separate experience with your two children, as you would experience a rose differently from an orchid.
One is no more beautiful or lovable, but depending on your climate, a rose can be a lot easier to care for than an orchid. Or you may be familiar with the rose, but need to learn how to nurture an orchid before it will bloom! Talk with your husband about your feelings and identify your little girl's attributes, as well as her insecurities. Use your honesty as a springboard for growth.
Give yourself time with your daughter to explore more of who she is and who she can become. We have to keep our eyes on him at all times because he gets into everything! Whereas Zechariah is very careful about his actions and often times thinks before he literally leaps like his younger brother.
Michala likes to create her own fashion style by mixing vintage 90s fashion with modern trends. Elijah, however, is happy wearing his black leather jacket, ripped jeans, and a black shirt.
All of my children have different personalities and interests. Does this mean I love one of my children more than the others?
Or the way they I do my very best to appreciate their differences and love them for who they are as individuals. Lynch offers helpful parenting tips to help parents balance their attention on multiple children who have different interests, personalities, and talents.
Consistently taking time to give your children one-on-one time shows them you care and that they are important. This makes them feel safe, in control, and loved. Having unique and different relationships with each of their parents, gives them two sources of inspiration in their lives that allows them them develop their own sense of individuality.
For lone parents, other close family members can take on this special parental role with children. Dr John Sharry is a social worker and psychotherapist and co-developer of the Parents Plus Programmes. This article is based on a chapter in his new book Bringing Up Happy, Confident Children: A practical guide to nurturing resilience, self-esteem and emotional wellbeing.
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